One day there was a girl who was a mad Sydney Swan’s supporter, and therefore she always wore a red Sydney cap. Everyone thought she was so cute and called her Little Red Cap.
One day Little Red Cap’s Groovy Gran sent her an SMS. “Hey LRC Im sik, can u bring chickn soup,” it said.
Little Red Cap loved her Groovy Gran so much that she immediately grabbed a can of soup. “Hey Joan” – for Little Red Cap was going through a teen rebellion stage that involved calling her Mum by the first name – “I’m going to see my Groovy Gran.”
“Ok, as long I don’t need to go,” Joan replied.
Little Red Cap’s Groovy Gran was Little Red Cap’s father’s mother, and Joan and her had never really got along. So Little Red Cap headed off alone, walking down the street to the train station.
After validating her ticket Little Red Cap wandered on the platform where there was a wolf. Little Red Cap liked dogs so she said: “Hi doggy.”
“Woof, woof,” said the Wolf, which clearly meant: “Hello, Little Red Cap, how are you on this fine Autumn morning?”
Little Red Cap was surprised that a Wolf could talk, so she told it her plans for the day. “I’m taking chicken soup to my Groovy Gran.”
“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof,” said the Wolf, which clearly meant: “Aha.”
Then the train came so Little Red Cap and the Wolf got on. Little Red Cap thought it was funny to see a Wolf on the train, so she laughed.
“Do you have a problem?” a voice said.
Little Red Cap looked up and saw a boy wearing a West Coast Eagles cap. She glared at him.
He glared back.
They glared at each other. And everyone around them were silent, afraid to say anything…
That was except the Wolf, he noticed that Little Red Cap was far too busy glaring and did not notice her stop. He said: “Woof,” which Little Red Cap thoughts meant: “Go the Swans!” but actually meant “If you don’t get off I will and I’ll eat your Groovy Gran.”
Little Red Cap nodded, so the Wolf shrugged, got off and went to find the Groovy Gran. When he got to her house he knocked with his head and almost concussed himself.
“Who is there?” Groovy Gran said.
“Is that you Little Red Cap?”
“That wasn’t no, must be yes.” So she opened the door.
He ate her.
Meanwhile Little Red Cap stopped glaring and realized she had gone too far. So she got off the train and caught one going back the other way.
When she arrived at her Groovy Gran’s house she knocked.
“My, Groovy Gran, you sound like you’re dying. I’m coming in.”
She went in. The Wolf was wearing a sun hat.
“That is the worst attempt at Groovy Gran impersonating I have ever seen.”
“Woof,” said the Wolf, which meant: “****.” But Little Red Cap thought meant: “I ate your Groovy Gran,” which by sheer coincidence was true.
“You ate my Groovy Gran!” Little Red Cap said.
“Woof,” the Wolf said. Which meant: “You gave me permission if you dob me in, I’ll have you up on conspiracy to murder charges.”
“****,” said Little Red Cap. Which meant: “Oops.”
So they decided to cover up the murder, go their own ways and try to live happily ever after.
by Grant Grievan - Student Teacher at LaTrobe Secondary College